Parts of this resonated with me. On multiple occasions where i felt a “bad” emotion, i told myself (and others) these emotions are just opposites of what i felt before and shows i cared/loved/be happy/surprised/excited.. about something.
im also better at discriminating these days. ur post makes me think of the artist vs critic roles. or writing vs literary analysis. i had a friend who always wanted to be a writer but as time went on she came to accept that she didnt have a knack for it but she's much better at analysis, and now she wants to be an english prof. i feel so cynical sometimes like i can see flaws in everyone else's work but i cant do better. hows trying to be a better generator going for u?
yeah idk lowkey being a critic sounds not very fun to me / i would like to avoid ending up in that role
generally being less judgemental and shifting from "i need to determine which things are good vs bad" to "i need to get my hands on all the good ideas i can" has been helpful. also trying to retrain my feeds (instagram / pinterest / twitter) to show more new art, it's taking some time but probably a positive change?
even once you figure out the things that give you joy, you need to, well, enact them, and you kinda need to be in an environment where that is possible ( cf https://blog.cjquines.com/post/not-my-best-self )
all this to say: thank you for giving me a chance to self-promo
> more generally i think the Box looks something like: [...]
i've had many similar revelations like this recently. say, i want to learn some category theory so i can understand what the haskell academics are doing. i could do it, but category theory for computer scientists is not enough. i wanna do it the right way, the math way, and the common wisdom is you should gain some more mathematical maturity first and know more examples to help you relate the concepts. so i decided, ok i'll do algebra seriously first and also learn some analysis and topology. and then i'd get sidetracked and start thinking about other adjacent things i wanted to learn too. the prerequisite graph gets larger and more complicated as i find the "optimal" sequence that would ensure i have the most breadth and depth and tick all the boxes i feel are necessary to say "i've learned x." i get stuck in awe of the sheer amount of time it'd take for me to learn it all and end up doing nothing. (this is literally the situation in your nate soares's canonical reference https://mindingourway.com/stop-trying-to-try-and-try/)
or, say, i want to socialize more with random people or get into situations where i can potentially find relationships, etc. well, i'm very self conscious of how i present myself now, so maybe let's figure out clothing first. maybe let's take care of my face a bit more because it's really making me feel horrible gender-wise, etc. and so i just end up doing nothing and meeting nobody.
or, say, i want to actually get a personal trainer so i start working out again. well, last time i tried, i could only do weight training because that was the most efficient way to spend time with an expensive trainer. i never made time for cardio on my own, and all the weight training disappeared as soon as i graduated. so, this time, i will get into cardio first and establish a consistent routine (fix my sleep, fix my eating, etc.), and THEN get a trainer to help me. well, i ended up doing nothing instead and my physical activity is at all time low in the past 24 years of my life.
so yeah idk, lots of prerequisites are fake and i should just start enjoying life apparently?? wild.
Regarding the topic of the article, your 'Box' metaphor is absolutley brilliant; how do you practically identify those insidious self-imposed expectations?
good post
Parts of this resonated with me. On multiple occasions where i felt a “bad” emotion, i told myself (and others) these emotions are just opposites of what i felt before and shows i cared/loved/be happy/surprised/excited.. about something.
im also better at discriminating these days. ur post makes me think of the artist vs critic roles. or writing vs literary analysis. i had a friend who always wanted to be a writer but as time went on she came to accept that she didnt have a knack for it but she's much better at analysis, and now she wants to be an english prof. i feel so cynical sometimes like i can see flaws in everyone else's work but i cant do better. hows trying to be a better generator going for u?
yeah idk lowkey being a critic sounds not very fun to me / i would like to avoid ending up in that role
generally being less judgemental and shifting from "i need to determine which things are good vs bad" to "i need to get my hands on all the good ideas i can" has been helpful. also trying to retrain my feeds (instagram / pinterest / twitter) to show more new art, it's taking some time but probably a positive change?
i do think there's something subtle about indirect pursuits ( as i call them in https://blog.cjquines.com/post/indirect-pursuits ) that make them hard to pursue lol
even once you figure out the things that give you joy, you need to, well, enact them, and you kinda need to be in an environment where that is possible ( cf https://blog.cjquines.com/post/not-my-best-self )
all this to say: thank you for giving me a chance to self-promo
i think the canonical reference is actually https://mindingourway.com/stop-trying-to-try-and-try/
gods DAMN it this is why i'm not popular on the internet
nice post
> if you spend your entire life doing nothing but chasing dreams you will never be happy.
🥺
> more generally i think the Box looks something like: [...]
i've had many similar revelations like this recently. say, i want to learn some category theory so i can understand what the haskell academics are doing. i could do it, but category theory for computer scientists is not enough. i wanna do it the right way, the math way, and the common wisdom is you should gain some more mathematical maturity first and know more examples to help you relate the concepts. so i decided, ok i'll do algebra seriously first and also learn some analysis and topology. and then i'd get sidetracked and start thinking about other adjacent things i wanted to learn too. the prerequisite graph gets larger and more complicated as i find the "optimal" sequence that would ensure i have the most breadth and depth and tick all the boxes i feel are necessary to say "i've learned x." i get stuck in awe of the sheer amount of time it'd take for me to learn it all and end up doing nothing. (this is literally the situation in your nate soares's canonical reference https://mindingourway.com/stop-trying-to-try-and-try/)
or, say, i want to socialize more with random people or get into situations where i can potentially find relationships, etc. well, i'm very self conscious of how i present myself now, so maybe let's figure out clothing first. maybe let's take care of my face a bit more because it's really making me feel horrible gender-wise, etc. and so i just end up doing nothing and meeting nobody.
or, say, i want to actually get a personal trainer so i start working out again. well, last time i tried, i could only do weight training because that was the most efficient way to spend time with an expensive trainer. i never made time for cardio on my own, and all the weight training disappeared as soon as i graduated. so, this time, i will get into cardio first and establish a consistent routine (fix my sleep, fix my eating, etc.), and THEN get a trainer to help me. well, i ended up doing nothing instead and my physical activity is at all time low in the past 24 years of my life.
so yeah idk, lots of prerequisites are fake and i should just start enjoying life apparently?? wild.
Regarding the topic of the article, your 'Box' metaphor is absolutley brilliant; how do you practically identify those insidious self-imposed expectations?
not sure, maybe notice when you're doing stuff that makes you unhappy and then ask why you're doing it?